Why do we feel attacked?

Answer: In such moments, first, reflect on whether your words were untimely; or whether your speech was inappropriate and lacked skillful means; or whether you harbored arrogance and looked down on the other person; or whether your own power to inspire faith was insufficient, and so on. Second, consider that being attacked and opposed is a normal phenomenon. Because sentient beings have ignorance, their cognitions all differ, and so each clings to their own views, and even phenomena of obstinate partiality appear. Third, observe the psychology of sentient beings more, understand them more, and learn methods and skills of communication, and so on. When encountering problems, first looking for the cause in others cannot solve the problem; only by looking for the cause in oneself can one correct oneself, and thereby lead the other person to trust and accept oneself and one's goodwill.

If your own views are not accepted, and you believe you have been attacked, thus giving rise to the various feelings described above, this shows that your self-grasping is extremely heavy—you do not allow the slightest rejection or disapproval from others, and you care too much about others' attitudes toward you. From the description of the words above, one can see that the conceit of self is rather serious: the self in the mind is inflated, and you unconsciously belittled and despised others; that is why those feelings that should not exist appeared. If you have right view and correct principles, you should keep the mind empty and go along with conditions, speak with restraint and skill, take a light view of the other person's attitude and reactions, not care about others' evaluations, remain unencumbered by any outcome, and maintain a humble and gentle attitude at all times. In that case, your state of mind and your aura will imperceptibly gather in and influence the other person, and your views will be more easily accepted—at the very least there will be no verbal clash. That is why I say that when encountering problems, one should first examine oneself.

In dialogue with others, if you first presuppose that you yourself are correct and possess the true Dharma, then you place the other person on the side of the deviant, believing they lack right view and right understanding. With such an opposition between correct and deviant, disputes over self and others and over right and wrong will inevitably arise, because no one is willing to be on the deviant side. If you believe you are correct, it implies that others are deviant; others will naturally be unwilling to accept this, and conflict will arise. Contradictions are often intensified in this way. A person's tone of speech often reveals their attitude and stance; once the other person perceives it, they will feel aversion and emotions will arise, their speech becomes inappropriate, and conflict emerges.

In all my years of teaching the Dharma, I have never said that what I teach is the true Dharma, or that I represent the true Dharma—such words have never appeared in my exposition of Dharma; you can flip through the books and see for yourselves. Therefore I never create opposition with anyone. Even if some people do not accept the Dharma I teach, it is not because of me myself, but due to other reasons not of me; the problem does not lie with me. A person with wisdom, in speech and action, will not place others in opposition to themselves and will not make enemies for themselves. Only a person with severe self-grasping will constantly make enemies, even regarding everyone as their imaginary enemy; doing so, of course, results in enemies everywhere. And for a person with enemies everywhere, how far can they go? Can their affairs proceed smoothly?