The Initial Practice Requires an Extremely Quiet Environment (2023-11-05)

Ven. Shi Ruyuan: I generally practice alone, because it is very difficult to develop meditative concentration (samādhi) in a crowd. Let alone contemplating and examining the meaning of the Dharma—even just trying to settle down is hard. When I settle down to contemplate the Dharma's meaning, I have to squeeze out time for it, and if I accidentally hear the slightest noise, I get badly startled. For example, I now live in a high-rise apartment building, with other families living in the floors above and below me, so when others carelessly make some noise, I get badly startled. Now, whether walking, standing, sitting, or lying down, once my mind settles, I simply cannot tolerate sounds, because contemplating the meaning of the Dharma requires deep mental deliberation to make any headway. Nowadays I generally wait until others have gone to rest and things quiet down before I dare to peacefully contemplate and deliberate on the meaning of the Dharma. In a noisy environment, I usually just use my mind consciousness to read the master's teachings on the Dharma.

Comment: This was the state of Ven. Shi Ruyuan when she first began studying Buddhism, before she left home. Her meditative concentration had just arisen and was not yet firm; she feared being disturbed and was afraid of being startled by sounds. After a period of time, once her meditative concentration becomes firm and her psychological resilience grows stronger, this situation will improve. Practice is not easy—the views and conduct of a practitioner run counter to those of worldly people. This world is not the home ground of practitioners; practicing within the world is very difficult, requiring one to overcome an enormous number of obstacles and to bear immense psychological pressure, which others can hardly understand. That is why practitioners are all very lonely, unable to find kindred spirits.